


The Dixorcist

by QueenOfCarrotFlowers



Series: Carrot's Dark Stories [22]
Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy, The Exorcist (1973)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Blasphemy, Crack, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Exorcisms, F/M, The Exorcist AU, priestlo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-15
Updated: 2020-02-15
Packaged: 2021-02-27 18:22:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22730113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenOfCarrotFlowers/pseuds/QueenOfCarrotFlowers
Summary: Rey is possessed by a demon. Father Ben, whose dick has been blessed by His Holiness Pope Luke himself, comes to her aid.
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Series: Carrot's Dark Stories [22]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1170431
Comments: 70
Kudos: 158
Collections: Reylo After Dark, Reylo Hidden Gems





	The Dixorcist

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MissCoppelia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissCoppelia/gifts).



> I'm not Catholic but this is probably super blasphemous - so if you are Catholic, or you have squicks or stuff about religion tread carefully.
> 
> The noncon is for Palpatine, who definitely does not consent to being fucked by Father Ben. Rey is more amenable to the entire situation.
> 
> Latin translations are in the endnotes

Father Ben Solo stood on the sidewalk and looked up and down the street before taking the three steps up to the front door. He knocked twice, and took a step back to glance around one more time. The house looked completely normal, on a normal suburban street, but then it always did.

The door was opened by a normal-looking black man, wearing a normal-looking white tee shirt and jeans, with a small gold cross around his neck. He looked up into Ben’s face and slumped with relief.

“Thank God, Father, I’m so glad you’re here,” he said, opening the door and moving aside so Ben could step in. “I’m sorry I have to keep calling you, but it happened again, and you’re the only one who can help.”

Father Ben put out his hand and the man shook it quickly. “I’m glad you called, Finn, and I’m always happy to help. Is she sleeping?”

"When I came in to check on her after lunch she was, but I’ve heard her moving around since then."

"She left a note to call me, then?"

Finn nodded nervously before turning around and leading Father Ben up the narrow staircase. Father Ben reached down and adjusted his cock - already beginning to stiffen in anticipation of the upcoming exorcism - before following the younger man upstairs.

The young woman lying on the bed was wearing a white cotton nightgown, which had hitched up to her knees. The afternoon sunlight filtered through blue curtains, bathing the room in a dim glow. Father Ben noted that the room was both more dim and a bit more chilly than he might otherwise have expected it to be, but he wasn’t surprised by that. The woman’s long, lean limbs spread out across the white counterpane, and she would have appeared normal except that she was spread-eagled across the bed, each of her hands bound to one of the posts at the head, her ankles bound to the posts at the foot. Her eyes were closed, and she was breathing quickly, which caused her small breasts to heave delicately beneath the thin fabric of her nightgown. Her chestnut hair was pulled back, but loose strands lay across her pillow. Father Ben, standing at the foot of the bed, gestured to her with his chin.

“Did you do this, or did she?”

Finn, lingering just outside the doorway, waved his hand at her. “She did it herself, before she-”

He was interrupted by a throaty laugh from the direction of the bed. The woman’s eyes were open now. They were tinged with yellow, and she bared her teeth at them.

“It’s too late, Father.” The voice that came out of the woman was harsh and deep - clearly not the voice of this woman. The voice of someone else. “ _Rey_ is gone, only I am here now. She invited me, welcomed me into her body. She is _mine_.”

The sound of Finn galloping down the stairs and slamming the front door filled the stillness of the house, echoing away before Father Ben deigned to answer him.

“Rey is a child of God, foul demon, and I am here to return her to her rightful place.”

The thing cursed at Father Ben as he carefully set his bag down on the chair by the door and pulled out two skeins of black silk rope. He sprinkled them with holy water from the aspergillum he pulled out of a plastic case, then took his time tying them in complicated loops around each of the posts at the head of the bed. The demon, although it continued to hurl curses at him, looked on with interest.

"Do you wonder what I am doing, evil one?" Father Ben asked, stepping back down to the foot of the bed.

The creature grimaced at him again, an attempt to appear frightening. “Holy water is nothing to me. Do you know who I am? I am Palpatinus, a demon of old. You cannot touch me.”

“Are you?” said Father Ben as he toed off his black leather shoes, clearly unimpressed. He walked back up to the head of the bed and took one of the loops, and the short end of the rope, and said, “I am _magister gloria_ in the Brotherhood of the Force, appointed and blessed by His Holiness Pope Luke himself specifically to perform the ritual of _sed exorcismus per penis_.”

At the name of the ritual the demon began to flail and pull against the restraints, but Rey had done a good job of tying them tight. Father Ben untied the ankle closest to him, and the demon continued to shout and kick, but the man held the leg tight and slipped it through the loop, up to the knee, then quickly pulled the rope to tighten the loop. It pulled the knee up, almost to the shoulder.

“No!” The demon shouted, squirming even more violently. “ _No!_ ”

“Yes,” Father Ben said, quickly rounding the bed and doing the same with the other leg.

Father Ben climbed onto the foot of the bed and kneeled where the young woman’s behind peeked out, naked and pink, from where the white nightgown had been pushed up over her waist. Ignoring the screams and cries of the demon, he unzipped his trousers and allowed the tool of his vocation to spring, unbound, from its confines. The demon watched with horror, and at the sight of the series of holy crosses tattooed around the base of Father Ben’s blessed erection it screeched even louder. Placing his hands on the woman’s thighs, wrapping his long fingers around her to hold her tightly, Father Ben began to pray.

_In nomine Patris, et Filii, et Spiritus Sancti. Amen._

The demon quieted, and tensed.

_Exsurgat Penis Dei et dissipentur inimici eius: et fugiant qui oderunt eum a penis eius. Sicut deficit fumus deficiant; sicut fluit cera a facie ignis, sic pereant peccatores a penis Dei._

With this Father Ben leaned forward and placed the head of his holy dick against the opening of the woman’s pussy. The demon began to screech again. The priest tried to concentrate on his prayer, on the holy power flowing through him, and not to think about how warm her skin was, how slick, and how lovely it would feel when he was all the way inside her. How her muscles would contract around him as she had her three holy orgasms. How she would cry out in blessed pleasure. That is not why he was here.

The priest returned to his ritual prayer.

_Confundantur et revereantur quaerentes animam eius. Avertantur retrorsum et confundantur, cogitantes ei mala. Fiant taamquam pulvis ante faciem venti: et Penis Domini coarctans eos. Fiat via illorum tenebrae, et lubricum: et Penis Domini persequens eos._

With this, Father Ben thrust his dick into Rey’s pussy in one smooth move, stopping only when he was completely hilted. The demon screamed in pain, and the man closed his eyes to concentrate. When he was ready, he placed his thumb on Rey’s clit and began to massage it slowly. The timing of this part of the ritual was important; he couldn’t afford to get distracted. Rey’s soul depended on it.

He thrust shallowly inside her, calling on the power of the Lord and waiting for her body’s response, while the creature screamed and thrashed more violently than ever. Father Ben ignored it, and when he sensed an increase in the production of her inner juices he thrust harder, more deeply, and began to pray again.

_Anima autem mea exsultabit in Peni Domini: et delectabitur super salutari suo. Gloria Patri._

With the name of the holy Father, Father Ben changed the angle of his holy dick and pressed hard against Rey’s clit. The horrified screeching of the demon changed to a wail of pleasure - for a blessed moment, Rey was back in her own body.

“Father!” She cried out. “Oh, _Father_! Bless you! Bless you for coming to me. Don’t stop, don’t-” her cries were cut off by the return of the demon’s ghastly growl.

“Not so easy to get rid of me, is it, _Father_. I can take your prayers, I can take your cock.”

Father Ben growled and spread Rey’s thighs further apart roughly, so he could reach even more deeply inside her. He had found that sometimes, physical depth could lead to spiritual depth. With one holy orgasm down, it was probably time. He reached into the pocket of his trousers and brought out his blessed vibe - it was lapis blue, in the shape of the holy cross, and made of high quality medical grade silicone. Like his cock, it had also been blessed by the Pope. He flipped it on to the lower setting, and pressed it against Rey’s clit as he began to thrust again.

The demon returned to his howling protestations, and Ben returned to his prayer.

_Anima autem mea exsultabit in Peni Domini: et delectabitur super salutari suo. Gloria Filio._

With the name of the Son, the blessed Jesus, Father Ben thrust deeply into Rey again, and pressed the vibrator against the side of her clit - just the way that her body most intensely responded to it, he had discovered over time. The demon quieted and her body froze briefly, and then her inner muscles clenched around him for just a moment before a shout of joy erupted from her mouth and her body shuddered.

“Father!” Rey’s voice shouted again, “Lord Jesus! Saint Mary! I’m coming so hard! Praise the Lord!” Indeed, Father Ben could tell from the fluttering around his holy dick that she was having a particularly long and strong orgasm. He took advantage of it to speak with her.

“This is your second blessed orgasm, my child. There is only one more to go and then you’ll be free of the demon. I know you can do it - you’re such a good girl, aren’t you? You'll fight the demon with me.”

She made a sound like a hiccup. He glanced up from where he’d been concentrating on their joined bodies to see her gazing at him with eyes wide and clear. “Yes, Father, I’m a good girl. I’ll fight the demon with you.”

Father Ben nodded, satisfied, and turned his attention back to his holy dick. She was very slippery now, and if he wasn’t careful he risked it sliding out - in which case he would need to start the whole ritual over. They’d had to do that before, and although it was… Father Ben shook his head, pushing the thought aside. This was his vocation; it was his job. He wasn’t supposed to enjoy it.

She’d had her first two orgasms in quite quick succession, but knowing that the third would need more of a build up, Father Ben called on the grace of the Lord Jesus and his mother Saint Mary for strength to make it through the next few minutes. And as soon as the demon returned to Rey’s body, as he knew it would, he was glad he’d fortified himself with prayer. Palpatinus arrived like a freight train, fearful of his imminent return to the darkness and fire from whence he came. The demon howled and screamed so loudly the walls shook, and pulled against the ropes that bound him with supernatural force. He was a very strong demon indeed - perhaps the strongest one that Father Ben had exorcised from anyone, no doubt the strongest one he’d exorcised from Rey - and it was a miracle he didn’t break the bed. But he didn’t - thank the Lord - and Father Ben turned the holy vibe up to its highest setting and rotated it slowly over and around Rey’s clit while pulling out until his tattoos were visible, then thrusting back in hard. He did it slowly - no reason to move too quickly, as long as the bindings held the demon tight her final orgasm was inevitable - and when her thighs began to shake and the demon’s shrieks became deafening Father Ben recited his final prayer.

_Anima autem mea exsultabit in Peni Domini: et delectabitur super salutari suo. Gloria Spiritui Sancto. Sicut erat in principio et nunc et semper, et in saecula saeculorum. Amen. Amen. Amen._

With each _Amen_ Ben thrust again, really putting his back into it. The demon screamed, and Rey shouted, and the demon screamed again, and Rey shouted again, lifting her bottom up and clamping around the holy dick with great force. An impressive amount of fluid shot from her pussy, drenching both of them, and the dimness of the room lightened, the temperature suddenly rose a few degrees. Father Ben stilled himself, and Rey finished by thrusting herself against him, crying and laughing and shouting praise to Jesus, Mary, and the Holy Spirit - with praise for Father Ben and his holy dick sprinkled throughout. He blushed; he was just doing his job, really.

There was only one more part to the ritual now, and although he was certain the demon Palpatinus had been thoroughly expelled, the final step was important for closure. As soon as Rey’s orgasm finished, Father Ben pulled his holy dick out of her, gripped it firmly in his right hand - cupping his balls with his left - and pumped it several times, until he felt his own blessed orgasm approach. He recited the final prayer:

_Humiliter majestati peniae tuae supplicamus, ut ab omni infernalium spirituum potestate, laqueo, deception et nequitia nos potenter liberare, et incolumes custodire digneris. Per Penis Christi Dominum nostrum. Amen._

At _Amen_ Father Ben reached his blessed release, and shot three great spurts of divine cum onto Rey, covering her as well as he could - her backside and thighs, which were already slick with her own juices, up onto her nightgown, as far as he could reach. Rey laughed at this part - she always did, the little heathen - and as he tucked his holy dick back into his trousers she wiped a dollop of his holy fluid off of her chin and sucked her finger into her mouth. She’d pulled on the emergency rope and managed to let her own hands free. The demons were always supposed to be so smart, but not one of them had ever figured out the emergency rope.

Rey pulled her finger out with a _pop_. “Yummy,” she sighed, clearly very satisfied. Father Ben shook his head and scooted to the edge of the bed to rest for a moment before finishing untying her. She stretched and groaned. “That’s my favorite part, you know. When you spray your cum all over. I love the noises you make when you have your blessed orgasm.

“Rey,” Father Ben said, turning to face her. She peeked at him over her knee, still pulled up to her shoulder with the priest’s black silk rope, and grinned at him. He stood up to start untying her. “You have to stop doing this, my child. It’s a misuse of the power of the Lord - and a misuse of my time. And poor Finn!” The young woman shrugged and rubbed her limbs as she sat up, and Father Ben wound the rope back into skeins and tucked them into his bag, alongside the aspergillum.

“Finn is fine, he runs home to Rose and she takes good care of him. And you’re not exactly in demand, Father. Besides, I like fucking you. Being fucked by you, whatever. If you’d just give in and do it with me normally I wouldn’t have to go through this,” she waved her hands in front of her.

“We don’t _fuck_ , Rey, I’m tired of having this conversation. We have holy coitus to inject the power of the Lord into your body, to exorcise demons. It’s not _fucking,_ please don’t be vulgar.”

Rey snorted and crawled off the bed. “Whatever, Daddy Ben. I’m hungry, do you want something to eat? I picked up a rotisserie chicken and mac and cheese for lunch, there’s a bunch left, maybe some salad too.” She flounced out of the door without waiting for an answer, still covered with fluids and smelling … well, smelling like she’d just participated in a ritual of _sed exorcismus per penis_. Father Ben stopped by the small upstairs bathroom to wash his hands before heading down the kitchen, from which the scent of chicken wafted deliciously. He might as well stay for dinner - as Rey said, he wasn’t exactly in demand.

**Author's Note:**

> This is for MissCoppellia, who asked for "Ben fucks Palpatine right out of Rey." She wanted it canonverse (which I wrote [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22719127)), but I couldn't get a kind of Exorcist AU out of my head, so I wrote this one too, as a treat!
> 
> Thank you to flypaper_brain for beta-ing and being generally wonderful!
> 
> If you are into priestlo, check out my story [_The Year After_](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24352591/chapters/58723807), in which Father Ben leaves the church at the beginning of the story, and the rest of the story is what happens after. (Sadly, no, it is not set in the same universe as The Dixorcist, but it would be funny if it was.)
> 
> The Latin text is from a [real exorcism prayer](https://luisapiccarreta.co/?page_id=19355), with just a few modifications. My Latin is rusty so I hope my grammar is correct, but if it isn't I'm not really bothered either. 
> 
> _sed exorcismus per penis_ : exorcism by the penis
> 
>  _In nomine Patris, et Filii, et Spiritus Sancti. Amen._ : In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen
> 
>  _Exsurgat Penis Dei et dissipentur inimici eius: et fugiant qui oderunt eum a penis eius! Sicut deficit fumus deficiant; sicut fluit cera a facie ignis, sic pereant peccatores a penis Dei._ : Let the Penis of God arise and let His enemies be scattered: and let them that hate Him flee from before His Penis! As smoke vanishes, so let them vanish away: as wax melts before the fire, so let the wicked perish at the presence of God's Penis.
> 
>  _Confundantur et revereantur quaerentes animam eius. Avertantur retrorsum et confundantur, cogitantes ei mala. Fiant taamquam pulvis ante faciem venti: et Penis Domini coarctans eos. Fiat via illorum tenebrae, et lubricum: et Penis Domini persequens eos._ : Let them be confounded and ashamed that seek after her soul. Let them be turned back and be confounded that devise evil against her. Let them become as dust before the wind: and let the Penis of the Lord straighten them. 
> 
> _Anima autem mea exsultabit in Peni Domini: et delectabitur super salutari suo. Gloria Patri._ : My soul shall rejoice in the Penis of the Lord, and shall be delighted in His salvation. Glory be to the Father.
> 
> (and the next one, with _Gloria Filio._ : Glory be to the Son.)
> 
>  _Anima autem mea exsultabit in Peni Domini: et delectabitur super salutari suo. Gloria Spiritui Sancto. Sicut erat in principio et nunc et semper, et in saecula saeculorum. Amen. Amen. Amen._ : My soul shall rejoice in the Penis of the Lord, and shall be delighted in His salvation. Glory be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Ghost, as it was in the beginning, is now and ever shall be, world without end, Amen.
> 
>  _Humiliter majestati gloriae tuae supplicamus, ut ab omni infernalium spirituum potestate, laqueo, deception et nequitia nos potenter liberare, et incolumes custodire digneris. Per Penis Christi Dominum nostrum. Amen._ : We beseech Thee to deliver us by Thy penis from all the tyranny of the infernal spirits, from their snares, their lies and their furious wickedness. Deign, O Lord, to grant us Thy powerful protection and to keep us safe and sound. We beseech Thee through the Penis of Christ Our Lord. Amen.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [The Confessional](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26820286) by [QueenOfCarrotFlowers](https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenOfCarrotFlowers/pseuds/QueenOfCarrotFlowers)




End file.
